To The Girl Who Wasn't Good Enough

I received a message, a few months ago, from a sweet young girl. Her question to me was, "How did you get all your confidence?" This question hit me pretty hard, as I was flattered that she thought I was so confident, but I was stumped on how to answer this. I didn't feel particularly confident in myself, so how was I qualified to give her an answer? I answered her as best as I could, but her question continued to linger in my mind.

That evening I told my husband about her message and he listened to me rant on and on about how I could even answer that question, when I battled with self-confidence myself. When I was done, he looked at me and said, "Honey, you ARE confident. I know what you've been through and I've seen you be confident. But sometimes I think you battle with perfectionism." OUCH. Hearing what he had to say stung a little, but I knew that he was right.

We all know that perfection doesn't exist, but that still doesn't keep us from trying to attain it. After my divorce I struggled with self-confidence. A divorce or break-up can leave you feeling like there is something wrong with you, especially if someone else is chosen instead of you. I was left feeling that the reason for the divorce was that there was something wrong with me.

 I wasn't thin enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't "domestic" enough. I wasn't successful enough.

You name it, I thought it. And although I know that none of that is true, it didn't prevent me from trying to attain each one to the point of exhaustion and unhappiness. I wish I could tell you that I've worked past each and every one of these issues, but I haven't. I wish I could tell you that my marriage is perfect and that I didn't carry these thoughts from the past with me, but I did. However, let me answer this question as best as I know how, and tell you what I HAVE learned.

I AM GOOD ENOUGH. 

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

I want you to know that if your self-confidence has been affected by hurt, betrayal or rejection, you're not alone. That another person's decisions, words and actions towards you, do not define who YOU are inside. I firmly believe that rejection is God's way of saying, "wrong direction." And just because "he" left, doesn't mean that God has. When everyone else leaves, God is saying, "I'm here!" There were many days when he picked me up off the floor, and some days he carried me. But one thing I know for sure is that in the midst of all the pain and rejection, I had to learn how to love myself. I learned that my worth comes from Jesus and true satisfaction can only be found in Him.

So, to every girl who has felt that they weren't "good enough" at some point in your life, and to those going through the very painful seasons of heartbreak and rejection right now. Stop agreeing with the lies of the enemy and start fighting by believing in the promises of God.

You don't need to be "skinnier." You don't need a cleaner house. You don't need to be "prettier."

There's beauty in being rejected, misunderstood, and unseen. It teaches you to rely on God for everything. Rejection from man doesn't mean rejection from God. You are beautiful because God made you in His image.

You were made to be MORE than good enough. Enough said.

XOXOXO,

Brittani