"Stuck" part 2

I woke up at 7 am to the maintenance workers mowing the grass right outside my window. Initially I was furious. Carter wouldn't be up for at least another hour and half.....seriously?? I reached for my phone and saw that I had a message from a friend of mine whom I had not talked to in a few months. This is what it said...

"Hey girl, sorry it's early. I was wondering if you have ever considered hosting a bible study class? Just an idea, I would go!! My grandma passed away yesterday evening and I was laying in bed and for some reason I decided to look on instagram and was looking at your pics. I decided to read your blog as was amazed by how much you have grown in the past year! You are a beautiful and strong woman and this whole experience has made me want to walk close to him so I can see her again one day! I just felt like you were the perfect person to help me get there!"

Tears immediately filled my eyes. I went from being furious at the maintenance men to feeling so excited that I could run outside and hug them! There I was the night before, asking God what it is that I should be doing, and there it was! She was a blessing to me that morning and she didn't even know it! Our God works in some amazing ways!

I spent the day trying to figure out what it was that God wanted me to do through this bible study. It didn't take long for me to come across a women's study called "Stuck". After reading what the author of the study had to say about it, I knew that it was exactly what I had been looking for.

"This study exists because I know I am not alone in this. The more I am let into the deep crevasses of people’s hearts, the more I am convinced that every one of us is fighting something. Yet we look out from our secret wars and see people who smile peacefully and seem to be all right—and we smile back at them."

This spoke me. How many times have you been asked by someone "How are you?" and you automatically reply with "good", no matter how awful you are feeling inside. We all do it. We hide how we are feeling inside to match the perception of what we want others to see. I know this feeling all too well, and I do not have it all figured it. But I have a testimony that has shaped me into a completely new person, and I wouldn't trade the person that I have become, for anything. Looking back, I realize that God had to completely break me before he could use me. I am not a fan of talking in front of others, and never considered myself to lead anything. But I am so excited to share with these girls what God has taught me throughout my struggles.

It's quite funny how all of this began with the lady below my apartment that knocked on my door. Perhaps I should knock on her door and tell her "thank you....." 

P.S. If you are interested in joining the bible study, please send me a facebook message, or email me at wittybritty0413@gmail.com

 

"Stuck" PART 1

 Yesterday evening, the lady that lives below my apartment on the 2nd floor came and knocked on my door. I went to the door with Carter hanging off my leg, wearing a plaid button up shirt and running shorts. Carter's clothes were a mess and he had beans from his taco all over his face.  From the moment I answered the door, she started in on how they can hear running footsteps and loud thumps above their apartment, and that we needed to keep the noise down. As politely as I could, I told her, "I'm sorry, we will try to be quieter. But he is a toddler, I can only do so much, I'm doing as best as I can." And she just stared at me, peering over my shoulder and looking into my apartment like it was her business. After what seemed like a minute, she continued " And we've been hearing it since 7:00am this morning." Mind you that Carter had not woken up until 8:30am, took an hour and half afternoon nap, and we left at 4:30pm for a few hours to run errands. I told her that we would be mindful of it and I shut the door. I couldn't help but feel angry and defeated inside. Does she not have kids? Has she never seen how much energy a toddler has? Were her toddler's perfect silent angels? I began to cry as I reflected over the day that I had. Carter had been fussy since he woke up. He is cutting teeth, and nothing seemed to make him happy but for me to hold him. I love to hold my baby, but sometimes I want to take a shower or brush my teeth or heaven-forbid I go to the bathroom. He had poured tea all over the floor and had taken orange marker to my white comforter and my white table. Then, right after bath-time he poured juice all over himself, "ice bucket challenge style." AND THEN she just had to come knock on my door and tell me that we were too loud. Little did she know that she would be the inspiration for my next blog post.

I tried not to let it get to me. I tried not to concentrate on her piercing eyes staring a hole through my soul, making me feel like an incompetent mother .I know she didn't intend to make me cry, but if she had approached the situation in a different way, it wouldn't have hurt so much. I put Carter to bed and thought about all the blog posts I've read about moms feeling defeated, like they never measure up. They don't hand you a manual when your child is born and tell you that other moms are going to judge you. That people were going to stare at you in public while your child makes a scene. They also didn't give you a ticket into the future telling you that you would be a single mom, or that you or your husband would lose your job, or that someone you love would suddenly no longer be in your life. Moms or not, we are all broken. Some might be more "broken" than others, but nonetheless we have all felt it before. For the past year, I have endured the darkest of days, often questioning God and asking "why me?" I knew that he would not put me through such trials if I wasn't strong enough to get through them. I also knew that I didn't endure them to just keep what I have learned to myself. I felt him pushing me to start a blog to help share with others what he has done through me. But I still felt like that wasn't all I should be doing.

I went to bed at 1:00am (which is very normal for me), still thinking as I always do. I had felt all evening an uneasiness and restlessness in my heart about the day. If I was feeling like this, how many other women felt the same way? I asked God to remove the bitterness in my heart towards the woman that lived below me, and that he would continue to lead me in the right direction because often times, I feel a little lost. Whenever I am questioning God's will, I always turn to an image in my phone that has John 13:7 written on it. 

Jesus replied "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

And I put my phone down, and went to sleep. 

Stay tuned for PART 2...........

Home Sweet Home

 Growing up I was positive that I did not inherit any part of the decorating gene from my mother, who is a wonderful decorator. Our home always looked beautiful, like something out of a magazine. It wasn't until about a year ago that I realized that watching her all those years must have rubbed off on me. I would NEVER consider myself a professional, and I wouldn't want to make a living at it, but it's a hobby that I really enjoy. I love whites and grays, with touches of gold and pink. I would best describe my style of decor as "girly shabby-chic". 

I would like to show you a few of my favorite spots in my apartment, along with a few pieces of furniture that I turned from broken to beautiful. I know....very clever.

First off is my little breakfast area. I bought this table and chairs for $65 and re-painted it all using white Annie Sloan Chalk Paint. It only took a few hours to do and I LOVE the result. 

Recently, my grandma gave me this table that is originally from Kirkland's. However, the color of it was just too dark for my liking. I decided to take my trusty can of gold spray paint and spray the iron legs, and then paint the top of the table with the white Annie Sloan chalk paint. I was very pleased with the way it turned out!

No, I did not sew the comforter or make the pillows (although learning to make pillows is on my to-do list), but how could your bed NOT be one of your favorite places in your home??  I did however, make the sequin "B" on the wall. If you would be interested in seeing a tutorial on how to make one, leave me a comment and let me know!

It's not your typical nightstand, but I love the way this versatile piece from IKEA looks sitting next to my bed. Once upon a time this was used for storing fabric, and then I used it to organize my massive scarf collection, and now its a nightstand! 

Last but not least is one of my favorite areas in my living room. Believe it or not, I bought this IKEA love-seat off of Craigslist for $60. It was pretty dirty from sitting in someone's garage, but it was only used for a few photo shoots and had hardly been sat in! I spent all night cleaning it with Scotchgard upholstery cleaner, let it air dry overnight, and it looked brand new the next morning! 

Even if we don't have the same style, I hope this gives you a few little ideas to spice up your own home. Decorating your home or apartment doesn't have to cost a fortune. But no one else has to know that!!

XOXO,

Brittani

Gap and Goodwill

For my very first post, I thought it would be best start off on a "not so heavy" note, and show you a few bargains that I've recently found! 

Now if you do not know me personally, it is important that you know that I am a total baby GAP snob. Not only are their clothes adorable, but they wear really well. And when I say "wear", I essentially mean that they are able to survive more than multiple wears and washes after the beating that an 18 month old boy will put them through. However, I will NEVER pay full price for their clothes. It's not because their clothes are not worth the price, because they are. I have noticed however, that they rotate clothing out very regularly. This means that there is always a good selection of clearance items in their stores. But wait, it gets better. If you will subscribe to the company's email list, you will see that The Gap is always having some kind of sale. Sometimes the clearance will go an extra 40% off!! So, you should do like I do and run to your nearest Gap and stock on this seasons or next seasons clothes for your little one..... for cheap! 

For example, on my last trip to the Gap I bought a pair of shorts, a pair of pants, a shirt, a t-shirt onesie and a precious cardigan...... for a total of $22!!!!! 

 

Long sleeve Onesie- $3.59

Shirt-$4.79

Shorts-$5.98

Cardigan-$7.18

Navy Pants-$0.58.......YES you read that right!! 

I totaled up the original prices from the tags, and if I had paid original price for each item, my total would have been $93 before tax!!!! That's crazy!! 

Does anyone else ever go to Goodwill??? I remember going as a teenager with my mom or grandma when they would go "thrifting". I remember always complaining about the smell, and embarssed for even being there. Now that I'm a grown-up (hahahaha yeah right), I enjoy going to look for treasures and could care less about what people think. Sometimes I find nothing, sometimes I'll find a few little trinkets here and there, and sometimes I'll find old furniture to re-purpose. The last trip I found just few  little items that I'd love to share with you! 

I spotted this pretty artificial pink peony arrangement from a few rows over. Before even picking it up I thought that it looked very similar to one that I had my eye on from the Target Summer Home Collection. However, I wasn't about to pay $20.00 for a small little flower arrangement. Sure enough.... 

$1.99! Score! 

My favorite find of the day were these adorable vintage-looking children's bowls that immediately caught my eye. I thought they were SO cute and didn't even think twice about grabbing them up. 

After I got home and went to put 

them in the dishwasher, I turned them over and lo and behold....

POTTERY BARN KIDS!! No wonder they caught my eye! 

3 bowls x .99=$2.97 

There is no telling how much those bowls were! MAJOR SCORE!! 

So now that I've shared my secrets with you, head out to your local Goodwill and your nearest Gap and start saving money!! Just save some for me!! 

Much Love, 

Brittani 

Welcome!!

Let me start by saying that it has been on my heart to start a blog for some time now. I don't know where the idea originated from, seeing as I did NOT inherit the writing gene of the family which so fittingly belongs to my English major of a brother. I also thought, "My life is not really that interesting, I doubt anyone would care to know what I have to say." So I prayed about it..... and prayed about it. I've never heard of anyone saying that they prayed about starting a blog, but I did. I wanted to be sure that this was the outlet that God wanted me to express my life through. I soon came to the realization that although I feel that writing will be very therapeutic for me, I understood that this blog was not only going to be for me, but for the others who might stumble across my blog in need of hope when their days are at their darkest.

If you already know me and my personal journey, thank you for stopping by my blog! And please excuse me while I bore you with a little introduction about myself.....

My name is Brittani and I am a 23 year old single mommy of the most precious 18 month old ball of fire, and the biggest gift from God. I am a Registered Nurse working in pediatrics. It is truly my calling. I am blessed that God has given me a career where I never actually feel like I'm at work. I work 3 nights a week so on the days/nights that I'm not working or sleeping, I spend them with my little man. I love to decorate, re-purpose old furniture, and go what I like to call, "thrifting." I love to spend countless hours walking around Target with Starbucks in my hand. I'm your typical mom with my 4 day old unwashed hair in a messy bun, with applesauce and peanut butter on my shirt, trying to get my 1 1/2 year old to sit down or stop screaming. I'm sure you've seen me there a time or two.

I would like to clear the air and say that I was married to my son's father for a little less than 2 years before our divorce. This by no means defines who I am, but the scars that are left are what have shaped me into the person that I have become and continue to become. My past has built the foundation on why I have decided to start this blog. You could call it " Broken Made Beautiful." But don't worry, this blog will not be all serious talk. I can't wait to share decorating ideas, and "thrifting finds", and details and stories from my daily life. Thanks for taking the time to stop by my blog and don't be a stranger!!

XOXO,
Brittani