This Thanksgiving...

It's truly amazing how quickly a year goes by, and how much your life can change in such a short amount of time. This time last year, my life felt as though it was completely falling apart all around me. Looking back, some of that time was a blur, and some of that time is embedded in my memory so vividly that I wish I could forget it. And although some days I still feel as though I'm still living in chaos, I feel extremely thankful this year for the many blessings that God has given me.

Social media makes it very to easy compare your life to everyone else's these days. We take the best part of our days and showcase them for everyone to see, moving piles of laundry and staging our pictures just right so it appears as though we have it all together. As you look through photos on my social media accounts, you would never be able to guess which days that I was battling some of the hardest days of my life. I'm guilty of looking at other's photos and seeing things like engagements, weddings and pregnancy announcements, and wondering why everyone else's lives seem to be moving forward while mine seems to be moving backwards. It has taken me a good year to realize that I am not moving backwards and that others lives are not as perfect as they might look on the outside. I have learned that although my life feels like it's falling apart, it's actually falling into place the way that God wants it to. Sometimes we get so caught up in the things in that aren't going OUR way, that we forget about the blessings that we have been given. This Thanksgiving, I want to be sure that I really take a step back and thank God for all that he has blessed me with, and I urge you to do the same. 

The biggest blessing in my life is my son. The greatest feeling in the world is to be loved unconditionally. Your children love you despite what your hair looks like, what jean size you wear or whether or not you graduated college. They fill a void in your heart that you didn't even know you had until they came into your life, and they make you forget all about your life before them. To be called "mommy" or "daddy" is one of the biggest blessings this world has to offer. Not only did God give me the gift of being a mom, but he gave me the second best calling, to be a nurse. Earlier this year, at a time when I needed it the most, he gave me the best job that I could ever ask for, and that's an understatement. I can't even call it a "job", because I would do it for free. I was not only given the best job, but I was blessed with a new friendship and another little boy who has stolen my heart.  It is no coincidence that I am where I am today.

I am thankful for the clothes that fit just a little too snug because it means that I have enough to eat. I'm thankful for the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means that I am capable of walking. I'm thankful for the complaining I hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech. I'm thankful for the lady behind me in church that sings off key because it means that I can hear. And I'm thankful for the alarm that goes off when I wake up because it means that I'm alive. I have a roof over my head, a car to drive, clothes on my back and a family that loves me. I have established friendships this year that I would have never had the chance to make if my life had never changed. I am an entirely different person than I was a year ago, and I love who I have become. I have learned grace, forgiveness, patience, strength and selflessness. And I have a whole future ahead of me, full of hopes and dreams and I have never been more excited about all the plans God has for my life.

I know there might be someone reading this that is going through a hard time this year, and it feels like you have nothing to be thankful for. I know you feel like the only one in world going through a hard time, but I promise you're not alone. Look around at all the simple things that you have been blessed with and don't compare your life to the "outside" of everyone else's. God might be doing some "rearranging" in your life, but know that he hasn't forgotten about you. 

My hope is that you will reflect over this past year and think about all that you have to be thankful for, and that you will enjoy this time with the ones that you love and love you. Oh, and gobble till you wobble! ;) 

Happy Thanksgiving!! 

Much love, 

Brittani

 

My Beauty Favorites

These types of posts are always my favorite to read from other bloggers. I'm always interested to see which products every one else is loving. My beauty routine is super simple and I don't use anything fancy on a day to day basis. All of these products can be found at your local Target.... imagine that?? I'm ALWAYS on the hunt for new beauty products to try out, but I always come back to these favorites!  If you're a busy mom like me, a student with little time, or just looking for a simple beauty routine, then this post is for you!! 

1. NYC Sunny Brozer- Until I stumbled across this bronzer, I always had trouble finding one that wouldn't make me look orange. I have very fair skin and most bronzers look very un-natural on my skin tone. This bronzer gives my skin a healthy glow and color, without looking orange or "fake". I've tried many-high end bronzers and while some of them worked well, I have never found one that is worth the $25. NYC Sunny is very natural looking and best of all..... It's only $3!!

2. Revlon Instant Age Rewind Dark Spot Corrector (my color is fair/light) - This concealer works miracles! I am a night nurse and a single mom of a toddler, so sleep is a rare commodity. This concealer is miraculously good at completely hiding those dark circles under my eyes. Revlon does have a "dark circle corrector" from this same line, but I feel like this concealer works better since I use it on other areas of my face. I apply this with the sponge applicator under my eyes and to any other areas that might need concealing. I don't usually wear a foundation so this works very well to cover up any areas of redness that I might have. It's a very light concealer with great coverage and runs from $8-$10 depending on where you purchase it from. 

3. Covergirl Lash Blast Mascara (in very black)- I have tried MANY mascaras in my day. I've tried countless high-end mascaras as well as drugstore mascaras but I always come back to this one. If I use another mascara and then begin using this one again, I always wonder why I stopped using it in the first place. I don't know that it has to do with the formula itself but it's more about the brush that I love. It's a thicker and larger brush that seems to separate the lashes without making them look thin and "spidery". And I NEVER use waterproof mascara. I'm convinced it makes your eyelashes fall out. You can find this mascara at Target or local drugstore for around $7. 

4.NYX Lip Butter (Apple Strudel)- THIS LIP GLOSS ROCKS. Seriously, this stuff is awesome. First off, I hate sticky lip glosses. I want to be able to slide my lips across each other and them not get stuck to each other. This lip gloss is as literally as smooth as butter, hints the name "lip butter". I also rarely wear lipstick so I like my lipgloss to have some color payoff. Every color that I have in this line, has beautiful color payoff, unlike many lipglosses that are very sheer or even clear. Plus, they smell like CUPCAKES. And you better sit down for this...... you can find these at Target for $4.99!!!! 

5. Burt's Bees Sensitive Night Cream- For some reason I have always had the most difficult time finding a moisturizer that works well with my skin. I have very sensitive skin, so trying new things makes me very anxious. However, I finally found one that works for me and this face cream is the bees knees (see what I did there??). When I wake up in the morning my skin is so soft and looks very refreshed, no matter how little sleep I get. It doesn't make me red, breakout, or leave my skin looking greasy. It is $15.99 at Target which is extremely reasonable for such a great night cream! If you have very sensitive skin like me, I cannot recommend this enough!! 

6. Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes- If you do not use makeup-removing wipes, you're really missing out!! I am very particular when it comes to skincare and I never go to sleep with makeup on. These wipes will take off all of your makeup in less than a minute or two, no harsh scrubbing necessary. I used to go through facial cleanser extremely fast but once I started using these, my cleanser lasts me MUCH longer. I have tried other brands, but they never remove my makeup as well as these do. Plus they are easy to throw in your bag for use at the gym or work. I usually buy mine in a value pack (2 packs of 25) for $6.47! 

7. Simple Moisturizing Facial Cleanser- BEST FACIAL CLEANSER EVER. It sounds silly, but I would be completely embarrassed to tell you the amount of facial cleansers that I have tried in my lifetime. I haven't always had the best skin, so after a few visits to the dermatologist in my late teens, my skin is virtually breakout free except for a few monthly exceptions. However, I still have very sensitive skin and most cleansers I have tried always made my face red or very dry. I have been using this cleanser for about 2 years now and my skin has never looked better. You can find it at Target for $6.99! 

8. Garnier Fructis Hairspray (humidity control)- Although most of my hair products are "high-end" brands, hair spray is one product that I have a hard time splurging on. I feel like most of them do the same thing, some just make your hair "harder" than others. And that's exactly why I love this hairspray. It does not make your hair feel "hard" at all. I can spray it on flyaways, curls, and ponytails and it holds each style without fail. I also like that the scent is pleasant but not overpowering, like some hairsprays that always end up giving me a headache. Best of all, it's only $3.99! 

I hope that you found this post helpful in some way and that you will go out and try a few of these drugstore gems for yourself! Leave a comment below if you tried out or use any of these products and let me know how you like them!  And if YOU have any favorite beauty products, I'd love to know about them! Have a "BEAUTY-ful" day!!! 

Xoxo, 

Brittani 

Dear Carter

I apologize for being so MIA lately. I've been wanting to write this post for weeks now, but the timing just wasn't right. So now I sit with the words I want to say overflowing from my heart and I'm ready to share this with you. And of course with Carter, as I hope this is something that he will cherish one day.

DISCLAIMER: You might want to grab some tissues. 

Dear Carter, 

As I sit here in the dark rocking you to sleep, with your nose so stuffy that you can barely breathe, and your little arms wrapped around my neck, I can't begin to tell you how much I love you. You gave me a run for my money today. Throwing a fit in Target, flushing wads of toilet paper to clog up the toilet, and spilling yogurt all over yourself and the rug, twice. But in every moment, no matter how trying, there will never be a time when I will not love you. From the early morning of July 27, 2012 at the very moment that I saw that plus sign, I have loved you. I loved you when you made me sick, gave me terrible heartburn, and kicked me so hard I thought you would kick right through my skin. Everyday that my belly grew, my heart grew with love for you. The anticipation of meeting you was almost more than I could bear. Finally, on April 13, 2013 at 3:34pm, I fell in love with you. From the moment they placed you in my arms, I wanted to protect you from the world. I had no idea what it took to be a good mother, or if I would even be good mother, but I wanted to be the best for you. 

The early days were hard. I vividly remember laying on the couch with you on my chest because it was the only way you would sleep. I would cry, when you cried. I was exhausted, and you were stubborn. It took awhile, but eventually we got the hang of it. I dreaded the day that I had to go back to school. I cried because I had to leave you, and even thought about not finishing so I could be with you. But God knew our future, and He held my hand and guided me through school, for you. He knew that it wouldn't be our toughest battle. 

Every Sunday, I meet your daddy so that you can spend a few days with him while I go to work. These days are the hardest. I tell myself the whole way there that I will not cry when I drop you off. I tell you that I love you so much, and you say " I uv you so much." I am able to choke back tears until I get on the highway. Two days seems like an eternity, but I am so grateful that your father loves you just as much as I do, and I know that you also enjoy your time with him. You see, although we are not married to each other, we have something in common and that is we both equally love you more than you could ever imagine.

I struggle with feelings that I have let you down. I wanted your life to be perfect, because you deserve that. To protect you from every little thing that might hurt you, or let you down. But I want you to know, that life will not always go your way. You're going to get knocked down time after time and sometimes you're going to want to lie there and not get up. I want you to know that it's ok to cry. To get angry. To not understand. And I might not always be able to fix it, but I promise to always be the hand that pulls you up, every time. God made you a very head-strong boy, but I pray that you will always seek God's will for your life. He always knows what's best for you, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. I thank God everyday that he has made me your mom, and there is nothing you could ever do to change that. 

There are many nights where I tuck you in and close the door behind me and I stand there with tears steaming down my face. You're growing so fast and I don't ever want to forget these moments. I scan over the day and think of the little moments that I might have overlooked. When you hold out your hand for me to kiss your "boo-boo" or hang on my leg until I pick you up or cuddle in my arms when you're sick. Because one day it will be the last time for each of those things and I don't ever want to forget. I look forward to every "first" with you and you will never have a bigger fan than me. 

I wrote you this letter so that you will never forget just how much I love you. Just in case a day comes where I am not able to remind you just how much you mean to me. You will never fully understand just how much I love you. You literally saved my life. You make me laugh when I want to cry. You have made me selfless and patient. You keep joy in my heart. You keep me on my toes. You make me a better person. You are the best gift that God could ever give, and I am blessed that he chose me to be your mom. 

  

I love you Carter. 

Love, 

Mommy