The evening of the move, everything had been moved into the house, but we realized that Carter's crib would not fit through his door and would need to be taken apart. However, the tools were still at my apartment and it was getting late. I told my family to go home and I would get the tools and do it myself. By the time I started to take it apart, it was close to 10pm. By then, I was completely exhausted. Not to mention I was still recovering from the dreaded stomach virus that seems to be going around. Carter was still awake, and it had been a long day for him as well. So naturally, we were a ticking time bomb. Finally, after what seemed like 100 screws later, I had one side of the crib railing off, but it still wouldn't fit through the door. The next side of the crib seemed to pose a bigger problem. The screws were so tight and the wrench wouldn't fit in between the slats. In the meantime, Carter had secretly stolen a lipstick from my purse and was applying it to his lips, AND my new carpet. That was the last straw. The tears started to flow. I was tired, I was overwhelmed, I was angry. Angry because the screws were too tight, angry because I didn't have a husband to do these "man tasks", angry because I was doing it by myself. I didn't understand. God gave me a home, but this isn't the way that it was supposed to be in my head. I mean, I had it all planned out didn't I?? This isn't the way I had envisioned the first night in my first home, crying over a crib.
Finally I decided to put Carter in my bed and lay with him until he fell asleep. This never happens because he doesn't want to go to sleep if I'm laying with him. I laid down on my bed for the first time all day. He snuggled up in my arms along with his 6 "friends" taking up the majority of my king sized bed. In the silence and in the darkness of my new room, I could feel God whisper softly to me. He had given me this home. He had given me the finances, the job, the perfect situation and he had made this home available for me because it was HIS plan. Most of all, He gave me that precious little boy snuggled up in my arms, already fast asleep. I wanted to get up, I wanted to get that crib in his room, I wanted to get unpacked. The chaos and unorganization was driving me crazy. But I didn't NEED to do any of that. What was I in a hurry for?? To unpack a box so I could put some plates in the cabinet? To hang a picture on a wall, or rearrange my furniture? All of that could wait.
Most of the time, I find myself NOT wanting to be still. Our culture wants us to believe that being "busy" is a good thing. I feel guilty taking time to just sit and be still. There's always laundry to be done, cleaning to be done, grocery shopping to be done, errands to run and the list is never-ending. But God wants us to be still! He craves our time and attention and to BE STILL and know that he is God! How can we hear when he is speaking to us if we're too busy to stop and listen? Your dirty dishes can wait. Your laundry can wait. You can clean the house later. What are we in a hurry for??
So many times I find myself looking so far into the future that I forget to live for today. Sit down and play with your children. For tomorrow they will be another day older. Rock them to sleep because tomorrow they might outgrow your lap. Kiss their boo boos because one day they won't ask you anymore. Let them take all 6 stuffed animals in the car, because one day you'll miss it. Let them make messes and get dirty. The memories will be worth the cleanup.
Just as our children long for our time, our Heavenly Father also longs to spend time with his children. Just as one of my favorite worship songs goes,
HE is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane and I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
And oh, how he loves us, oh
Oh how he loves us
He is jealous for YOU!
So as I laid there in the darkness, my baby in my arms, I felt a calm come over me. I had finally sat down long enough, that in the stillness I felt at peace. So what did I have to be angry about? Nothing. This was God's plan. And I thank him everyday for all that he has provided me with, including my new wonderful home. My God, who created my innermost being, wants me to be STILL in the hustle and bustle of this life, and talk to him. He cares about every detail of your life. Psalm 55:22 says
Cast your cares on The Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Are you running late with no place to be? This week, I encourage you slow down and be still. I promise you won't regret it.
Much love,
Brittani
Loved reading this..... Thanks for the reminder....❤️❤️❤️❤️
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