Somewhere in Between

This past week I ran into a sweet woman whom I had never met before, but she knew me from my blog.  I can imagine just how frazzled I looked as she approached me in TJMaxx, browsing the baby section and talking a toddler out of why he didn't need another piece of gum. "Brittani?" she asked. "Yes?" I replied, quickly searching the database of faces in my brain, as I didn't recognize her. She introduced herself as the mother-in-law of a friend of mine and said that she recognized my face from my blog. She was so genuinely kind and said how she loved reading my posts. After a few minutes we parted ways, but our brief conversation could not have come at a better time, and it made more of an impact on me than she realized.

That afternoon I told my husband about this conversation and the woman I had met earlier that day, and he affirmed just how neat it was to know that there are people reading my blog, many of whom I don't even know. "Your face lights up when you talk about your blog, Honey. You get this spark in your eye...." He stopped right there because I began to cry.. It doesn't take much these days to make me cry. These pregnancy hormones can be so strong it's actually frustrating. But this was one of those cries that comes from way down deep, the kind that my husband knows as real tears.

You see, somewhere in between the never-ending loads of laundry, grocery store runs and dinner making, house cleaning and diaper changing, I had slowly begun to lose who I was. The days began to seem monotonous as my own dreams and hobbies faded into the distance. I admire my husband for working so hard at something that he really loves doing, but sometimes I envy him for getting out of the house to work with other adults. Don't get me wrong, I love watching Toy Story and Mickey Mouse and eating Goldfish and blowing bubbles. But somewhere in the midst of all that, I had lost what made me happy. I could blame it on the first trimester sickness and exhaustion, and that was part of the reason I have been absent for two months. But the other part was an ever so convincing voice inside my head telling me that no one really cared to know what I had to say. Over time I had convinced myself that while writing for my blog was my passion, it was just a waste of time. That was all until I ran into this sweet woman who thankfully reminded me why I had began writing in the first place.

As women, and especially as busy mothers, we tend to put the one thing that lights our fire, on the back-burner. Our families, husbands, and children become more important to us than ourselves. I love my husband and my son and step-daughter more than anything in the world. But to give up on my passions, the very thing that makes me happy, would limit my happiness as a wife, and as a mother. It's not selfish for YOU, to still be YOU. The same woman you were before you were married, and before you brought babies into this world. Somewhere in between the laundry and the diaper changes, I encourage you to find and do that the thing that makes your heart sing. Maybe it's going for a jog in the evening after your husband gets home. Maybe it's reading or painting or decorating. Maybe it's just an hour solo stroll through Target with a coffee in your hand (also my hobby). Make time to do the things that YOU enjoy, and don't feel guilty about it. Blogging is something that I really enjoy, it truly makes my heart sing. But I can't always sit down and write an entire post in one sitting. As we speak, my son is chasing the dog around in the backyard with a can of silly string, and I know that once that can is empty, my time is up. But being able to do the things you love between diaper changes, loads of laundry, and cans of silly string, will fill your love tank as a wife and as a mother.

This morning I woke up, and looked at my sweet boy sleeping next to me while my other little boy did flips in belly. It's the biggest, and sweetest blessing to be a mother and I want to be the very best for them. But what makes me a good mother is also taking the time to do the things that make me, ME. So here I am today, back to blogging. It doesn't really matter if one person reads this or 10,000 people read this. Writing is what lights my fire, it's the unique gift and passion that God has given me. I would love to encourage every woman reading this to find the unique passion that God has given you, and pursue it. And for any men reading this, encourage your wife to do what sets her soul on fire. I promise you'll thank me for it.

Thank you all for reading, sharing and commenting on my posts. Your support means the world to me. And a special thank you to my sweet husband, who always encourages me to do what makes my heart sing. And for the sweet woman who gave me the encouragement that I needed and didn't even know it, you know who you are. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Xoxoxo,

Brittani