Enough.

I cherish every day that I get to spend with Carter. As a single and working mom, there are 2-3 days a week where I don't get to see him. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out and that I'm not the mom that I  always thought I would be. Some days I'm on the verge of tears. I feel like I can't ever live up to this image of this "perfect mom" that I have created in my head.

She's the mom who's got it all together. Her hair is perfectly styled and her makeup is flawless. She always has on the cutest outfits and her children are always dressed to the T. Her home looks like something straight out of a magazine, and obviously her kids never make messes. Her home is clean, and the laundry is always done. She drinks smoothies and lives off salads, while her kids eat all of their vegetables. She spends her days making Pinterest projects with her kids, or taking them to elaborate entertainment events. Her kids never cry, whine or make a scene in public.

It has taken some time but I have realized that the "perfect mom" doesn't exist.

I've been beating myself up over not living up to this "perfect mom" image I had always imagined that I would be. Before I had my son, I remember saying how I would NEVER be one of "those" parent's that let my son play on the Ipad or Iphone. I was going to make home-made baby food and elaborate dinosaur shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He would NEVER sleep in my bed, and the paci would be gone by his first birthday. I would NEVER not do my hair or wear makeup. Instead, he sleeps with me often, and the we finally ditched the paci about a month ago. My hair could use fresh highlights, and doesn't get done but once or twice a week. My wardrobe consists of a few staple items that I interchange depending on what's clean. My son is usually dirty, or half naked. My bed is never made, there's toys everywhere and dishes in the sink. He eats cheetos for lunch and refuses to eat the rest of his food. There's pieces of play-doh all over my house from the last Pinterest project, and I can't afford elaborate entertainment events. WWII erupts if we can't find the huge double seated carts to sit in at Target, that I HATE to drive. I scold myself when I give in to the candy at the check-out counter. " A good mom wouldn't let him have candy." I scold myself when I allow him to sleep in "mommy's bed." " I'm such a bad mom, I shouldn't let him to sleep with me." I scold myself when he goes to bed later than his bedtime. "A good mom would have him in bed by 8."

So who is this "good mom"??

She's the one rocking a crying baby at 3am. The one crying because her baby won't stop crying. The one building forts when she still has piles of laundry to do. The one kissing boo boos and placing bandages on skinned knees. The one driving back and forth to swim and gymnastics lessons. The one cleaning up crushed goldfish after vacuuming. The one praying over a sick baby. The one making dinner from what's left in the pantry, because there's still three days until payday. The one playing with trucks when the house needs to be cleaned. The one cleaning yogurt out of the carpet, again. The one clapping after they go potty on the potty for the first time.  The one searching for a missing pacifier in the middle of the night. The one sewing an arm back on their favorite stuffed animal. The one bending down to wipe their tears away.

 It's me, and  It's YOU.

Sometimes you cry behind the bathroom door. Only to regain your composure as your little one bangs "Mommy!" on the door. You feel like you're failing. The image of this "perfect mom" is unattainable. You wonder if anyone understands the way you feel.  Everyone else seems to have it all together. What we sometimes forget is how quickly time goes by. Before you know it, your baby will no longer be a baby. One day, all your child will remember is the days you played trucks in the dirt, or built a fort in the living room. Sometimes Carter will come up to me and say, "Mommy build..." There might be cleaning to do or piles of laundry to be folded, but the smile on his little face when I  build tall towers out of blocks, is worth dropping the laundry duties for. 

I want you to know, weary momma, that God says you're ENOUGH. He doesn't compare you to this image that you have created in your head. He doesn't care if your home is clean, or if your hair is done. Before your children were born, he decided that you would be their mother. Do not compare yourself to anyone else, for there is no one else who can do this job the way you do. So when you're feeling overwhelmed, lean on the one who gave you the greatest job in the world, and drop the image that you have created of being the "perfect mom."

There will be so many times you feel like you've failed, but in the eyes, heart and mind of your child, you are super mom.

XOXO, 

Brittani